I wished to apologize. That was all. Although perhaps I wished to see if your perspective had shifted all.
[ She rubs her forehead again. ]
There are those who think highly of you and those who think of you as little more than a villain and I am trying to understand you; as you said, our bond gave me a glimpse of insight. Is it wrong to seek understanding?
[ there is not even any malice there. not now. the bare fact is impossibly cruel to her perhaps, but it remains the truth. ]
No matter how purely you lived, some saw you as a hero and some as a villain. Arturia Pendragon. You lived so perfectly your kingdom turned against you. That is your legend.
You said you did not know the end of my legend? Very well! I shall tell you: in the end, I returned from the Underworld, and I rebuilt my kingdom. When I died, my era passed on. Yet I am here in the future, and now I may enjoy myself with my friend. Shall you now see my legend as hopeful or fault me for not looking backwards as you do? In any case, I weary of this argument about a war which does not even exist here.
Perhaps I should send you another of those animal glyphs.
[ Saber visibly starts a little and gives him (or her device, rather) a look. She had never considered herself the villain - had thought of her failings but never that she might not have been the hero. A failed one, perhaps, but still a hero. ]
I... did not give you leave to call me by that name.
[ Her voice is low, gaze distant. Camlann. Mordred and the others seeking to cut her down, her own people rising up - for what? Because she had spent too much time apart? Because she was too cold? There are many things she still wants to have done differently. Could they have seen her as a tyrant? Or unsuited to rule? There are gears turning in her head. ]
Gilgamesh. King of Heroes.
[ She says this after a long silence. ]
Are you happy? Content? Whatever word you choose to use.
[ he actually manages to soften his smile a little, even if that knowing and slightly disdainful look does not quite abate. ]
Saber, you know very well that a king, a hero, cannot remain happy during every moment. That is the human condition, is it not? We have needs. We have desires. We seek to either act upon or restrain our desires.
And sometimes, should our desires become strong enough, they conflict with the needs and desires of others.
When you pulled that Caliburn from the stone, it deemed you would be someone cursed with great desire -- the obsession of your kingdom. The vaster my desire, the more I consume it. I am happy, but each new moment requires a new point of stimulation.
[ he becomes bored almost instantaneously. of everything. maybe if she understood that... ]
You chase after a final point of desire, but I make each new moment burn with a new desire. Is that happiness?
[ but they just were not made to be happy with the... pursuits that others might be. they desire grand, epic stages. that is their ego, and hers is not so unlike his own. that is why she cannot be happy. and yet they are so different. ]
[ For once, there's wisdom in his words. And maybe that's what she's wanted to hear, from someone else who understands how achingly lonely it is to set yourself apart from your people, your kingdom, and everything else, all for the sake of being a good king and a good ruler. Her gaze stays distant, as if she's deep in thought. ]
I do not think I have ever been happy or content since I pulled Caliburn from that stone. But I would do so again in a heartbeat.
[ Because he's right - her desire burns bright, at the end of a long, hard road. She seeks that shining, glorious thing at the end of everything. Even if her goal now is to destroy herself. ]
You understand.
[ It is not a question but a statement of fact. She pauses again. ]
Perhaps I understand you better now, King of Heroes. But I should not linger on this device overlong.
[ of course he understands. should that surprise you? he was renowned for his wisdom. well, you might sometimes forget that, all considered. ]
Obviously, I do.
But Saber, I would not undo my legend. It is the story of my friend as well as myself. My peer with no equal. You fool -- should you undo your legend, what shall remain of your Camelot? Avalon was your dream, yet if you look backward, there may be no dreams. If you would pull that sword again, then your words simply contradict themselves.
[ but he expects she has some tortured rhetorical argument for how not-contradictory this is. but whatever. ]
Farewell, then, King of Knights. I shall certainly see you once more.
[ She doesn't wish to argue and perhaps she doesn't truly have an answer for it; it makes sense to her, in the depths of her own despair, but perhaps not to others. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ She seems slightly startled by the question. ]
I wished to apologize. That was all. Although perhaps I wished to see if your perspective had shifted all.
[ She rubs her forehead again. ]
There are those who think highly of you and those who think of you as little more than a villain and I am trying to understand you; as you said, our bond gave me a glimpse of insight. Is it wrong to seek understanding?
no subject
[ there is not even any malice there. not now. the bare fact is impossibly cruel to her perhaps, but it remains the truth. ]
No matter how purely you lived, some saw you as a hero and some as a villain. Arturia Pendragon. You lived so perfectly your kingdom turned against you. That is your legend.
You said you did not know the end of my legend? Very well! I shall tell you: in the end, I returned from the Underworld, and I rebuilt my kingdom. When I died, my era passed on. Yet I am here in the future, and now I may enjoy myself with my friend. Shall you now see my legend as hopeful or fault me for not looking backwards as you do? In any case, I weary of this argument about a war which does not even exist here.
Perhaps I should send you another of those animal glyphs.
no subject
I... did not give you leave to call me by that name.
[ Her voice is low, gaze distant. Camlann. Mordred and the others seeking to cut her down, her own people rising up - for what? Because she had spent too much time apart? Because she was too cold? There are many things she still wants to have done differently. Could they have seen her as a tyrant? Or unsuited to rule? There are gears turning in her head. ]
Gilgamesh. King of Heroes.
[ She says this after a long silence. ]
Are you happy? Content? Whatever word you choose to use.
no subject
Saber, you know very well that a king, a hero, cannot remain happy during every moment. That is the human condition, is it not? We have needs. We have desires. We seek to either act upon or restrain our desires.
And sometimes, should our desires become strong enough, they conflict with the needs and desires of others.
When you pulled that Caliburn from the stone, it deemed you would be someone cursed with great desire -- the obsession of your kingdom. The vaster my desire, the more I consume it. I am happy, but each new moment requires a new point of stimulation.
[ he becomes bored almost instantaneously. of everything. maybe if she understood that... ]
You chase after a final point of desire, but I make each new moment burn with a new desire. Is that happiness?
[ but they just were not made to be happy with the... pursuits that others might be. they desire grand, epic stages. that is their ego, and hers is not so unlike his own. that is why she cannot be happy. and yet they are so different. ]
no subject
I do not think I have ever been happy or content since I pulled Caliburn from that stone. But I would do so again in a heartbeat.
[ Because he's right - her desire burns bright, at the end of a long, hard road. She seeks that shining, glorious thing at the end of everything. Even if her goal now is to destroy herself. ]
You understand.
[ It is not a question but a statement of fact. She pauses again. ]
Perhaps I understand you better now, King of Heroes. But I should not linger on this device overlong.
no subject
Obviously, I do.
But Saber, I would not undo my legend. It is the story of my friend as well as myself. My peer with no equal. You fool -- should you undo your legend, what shall remain of your Camelot? Avalon was your dream, yet if you look backward, there may be no dreams. If you would pull that sword again, then your words simply contradict themselves.
[ but he expects she has some tortured rhetorical argument for how not-contradictory this is. but whatever. ]
Farewell, then, King of Knights. I shall certainly see you once more.
no subject
Farewell, King of Heroes.
[ Click. ]